what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
