Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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