Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize