I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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