OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
