If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize