First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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