just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
