Non-Jews are for practice
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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