You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
