just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
