Having a random hookup so left but love u
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
this boner is exhausting
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
