can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
