im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
