I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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