Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize