This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
