Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
my poor anus
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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