I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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