Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
