Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
