You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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