Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I supernannyed him into submission
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
