Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
