So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Randomize
