reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
