And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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