90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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