all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize