The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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