I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
my poor anus
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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