So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
