it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Randomize