He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
