dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize