how can u be prego again
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
