Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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