you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
