She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
