His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize