dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
