Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
