Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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