You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
