He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
