Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
