I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
