Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
