420 ftw
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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