Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you will always have a special place in my vag
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
