there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize