my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
