So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
