i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Can vaginas get frostbite?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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