it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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