He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize