physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
