i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
