does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
