dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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