Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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