i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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