She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
